Tuesday, December 28, 2021

Christmas Pics

 Went to Marnie and Denver for lunch Christmas Day.

Denver, Marnie and I...

(plus Toby the cat)


Denver's friend Sophie was there too...



Main course was delicious...
...and filling

So we went for a walk at the local park...

Denver and his 'girls' 


To make room for dessert...
...also delicious

It was a lovely day!


Unfortunately the rest of the family are spread far and wide, but they did sent photos.


The Adelaide family...
Ben, Hazel and Hayley


The Canberra family...
Rafe, Anushka, Jefferson and Jaya


The USA (Connecticut) family...
Patrick, Natasha, Dylan, Oliver and Zak

And here is my song to you, for (post) Christmas. xx

Sunday, December 26, 2021

Weekend Words

 From Be Still and Know...

"And being warned of God in a dream that they should not return to Herod, they departed into their own country another way" (Matthew 2:12)

In Matthew, the second chapter, we read of the wise men making a long journey in search of the new born King.  Guided by a star, their search came to an end in Bethlehem.  With great joy they bowed in worship of the Christ child, presenting Him with gifts.

Herod had asked them to return to Jerusalem to give him a report on finding the Babe.  Very likely this was their plan.  However, their course of travel was completely changed.  God warned them not to return to Jerusalem.  They were to return to their home "another way."  Although they may have wondered why, they obediently followed God's direction.

In a few days we will enter a new year.  As God places it in our hands, we will have the privilege of using it for Him.  Most of us already have plans for it.  Yet we can never be sure of what lies before us.  Next year's path may lead us in a completely different way, a new way we have never walked before.  It may bring a sudden change in our life.

God may say to us, "I want you to go 'another way' this year."  You may be comfortably situated in your home, everything going well for you.  Suddenly a change comes and you are to be moved to a new area.  This is not what you would choose, but God say, "This is 'another way' for you to take this year."  You may have to walk 'another way' as someone dear to you has been removed from your life.  'Another way' for you may be a serious illness.  We may not understand why we must go 'another way,' but God does, and He never makes a mistake.

We should be ready to accept changed plans as the wise men were.  When God leads us 'another way' we need to be ready to follow.

God says, "I will bring the blind by a way that they know not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known" (Isaiah 42:16)


God will make a way Where there seems to be no way

He works in ways we cannot see He will make a way for me

He will be my guide Hold me closely to His side

With love and strength for each new day

He will make a way He will make a way

-Don Moen

Friday, December 24, 2021

Christmas

 Dear Friends,

I have not been able to post as much as I would have liked this year, especially 'on the home front' updates.  But Weekend Words took precedence and sometimes that was all I had time for each week.  I had been considering taking a break from my blog, but I received a lovely comment this week from a reader,  which I will post here as I don't know if many of you read the comments:

"Dear Lynda, this is one of the most beautiful blog posts I have ever read. I'm a long time admirer of your beautiful blog and writings and when I am faced with uncertainty and hard times, I have been known to reread many of your posts. This one speaks to me wonderfully right now and I thank you for it. God bless you this Christmas season and in the new year to come!"

And I replied:

"Thank you so much for your kind words. It means a lot to me that you took the time to write and tell me you enjoy my post. I was considering whether to keep going with my blog. Life gets busy sometimes and it can be hard to find the time to search out readings and type them up, find photos, etc. But if even only one person is blessed by the writings then I am encouraged, and it is a reason to keep going. We never know what effect a word of encouragement can mean to someone. Thank you and God bless you! xx"

So it looks like you are stuck with me for a bit longer :))  

Perhaps it's time you encouraged someone?


Here is a little prayer I read this week.  I don't know who the author is...

Bless Us Lord, this Christmas with quietness of mind.

Teach us to be patient and always to be kind.

Show us that in quietness we can feel Your presence near

Filling us with joy and peace throughout the coming year.  

This is my wish for all of you and I sincerely thank you for taking the time to visit my blog and read my posts.  Have a blessed Christmas! xx

Sunday, December 19, 2021

Weekend Words

 From Watch For The Light reading for December 15...

Be Not Afraid - Johann Christoph Arnold

Perfect love, the apostle John writes, casts our fear.  So when God's angel broke the good news of the Savior's birth to the cowering shepherds of Bethlehem, "Fear not!" was more than an instruction for them to get up off the ground and stop shielding their frightened faces.  The "glad tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people" meant that fear's grip on human hearts was going to have to give way to the far greater power of love.

People have derived comfort from these words for two thousand years, but millions are still afraid.  What's more, we are scared to admit our fears, particularly our biggest fear of all - death.

The fear of death overshadows all our lives.  We live longer than our grandparent's; we are better fed; we lose fewer babies.  Vaccines protect us from once-feared epidemics; hi-tech hospitals save tiny preemies and patients in need of a new kidney or heart.  But we are still mortal.

I have stood at the bedside of dying friends and relatives - and have fought alongside them - as they faced death.  I have held their hands when fear filled their eyes, and have witnessed the remarkable peace that radiates from those who have not only battled their fears, but found strength to ask God to intervene on their behalf.

Without exception, these were ordinary men and women who at some point in their life had decided to spend their energies reaching out to people around them, rather than focusing on themselves.  Through this, they received a special gift: the ability to hear the angel's words, "Fear not!"  Such a gift can only be given to a surrendered heart, one that knows itself to be held in the palm of God's hand.

My grandfather, Eberhard Arnold, was one such person.  He grasped intuitively that our flesh, blood, and bones are not, in the truest and deepest sense, our real selves, but that the real seat of our being, the soul, passes from mortality into immortality, and from time into timelessness.  My grandfather spoke of the human soul's perpetual longing for God, and referred to death as the moment we are "called into eternity" and united with God.

It is natural, even for us who call ourselves believers, to feel the gulf between our present state and eternal unity with God.  But then we should bear in mind that the angel's "glad tidings", wonderful as they are, do not spell out the whole story.  Christ's life began in the manger, but its pivotal point was His crucifixion, and its completion was Easter, when He rose from the dead.

Many years of counselling people through grief and loss have made me certain that Christ's death and resurrection hold the deepest answer to all our fears.  We all have bad days; and plenty of us know what depression is.  There are very few people who have not, at one time or another, experienced deep anguish - and growing numbers have faced the terror of violence.  In our lives we may be tested in ways we cannot even imagine.  Yet we can be certain Christ has shared our torment, and worse.  He sweated drops of blood and was totally forsaken.  He died, and descended into hell.  But by overcoming death he took away all our reasons for fear, forever.

Of course, it does no good to recognize this in a merely intellectual way.  Knowing that Christ loves us may not save us from fear, nor will it save us from death.  And so it comes down to this: the only way to truly overcome our fear of death is to live life in such a way that its meaning cannot be taken away by death.

This sounds grandiose, but it is really very simple.  It means fighting the impulse to live for ourselves, instead of for others.  It means choosing generosity over greed.  It also means living humbly, rather than seeking influence and power.  Finally, it means being ready to die again and again - to ourselves, and to every self serving opinion or agenda.

In Dickens's "Christmas Carol", the bitter old accountant Scrooge provides a memorable illustration.  Tight-fisted and grasping, he goes through life dragging a chain that he himself has forged, link by link, with each miserly deed.  Having closed himself to human kindness, he lives in a universe so calculating and cold that no one escapes his suspicion.  Before long he begins to despise himself and look for a way out of his misery.  But he cannot find one.  He is trapped - trapped in the person of self.  Worse, he is haunted by dreams of death, and dreads its approach.

Then he changes.  Loosened by those same dreams, the scales fall from his eyes, and he sees a way out: "The time before him was his own, to make amends in!"  No longer consumed with his own needs, he is free to love, and vows to dispel "the shadow of the things that would have been."  And as he runs from one old acquaintance to the next, he rediscovers the world around him with the unselfconscious happiness of a child.

Such happiness can be ours, too, if we live for love.  By "love" I am not speaking simply of the emotion, nor of some grand, abstract ideal, but of the life-changing power Jesus speaks of when He says: "I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me" (Matthew 25:35-36).  When we live for love, we will be able to meet any challenge that comes our way.  We will know peace now, and at the hour of death.  And we will not be afraid.


The Hope of Christmas

This year has held such sadness,  It touched each heart and mind,

And sometimes when the sky was dark  The sun seemed hard to find.


Yet people were so caring  And lent a helping hand,

So side by side we journeyed on  And reached out through the land.


But now it's time to look ahead,  The future shining bright,

The hope and joy of Christmas  Will fill the world with light!

- Iris Hesselden


Sunday, December 12, 2021

Weekend Words


From Be Still and Know...


"Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us" - Matthew 1:23

As we listen to the beautiful stains of Christmas carols filling the air, we are reminded of the real meaning of Christmas.  Jesus came to earth to be more than just the Babe of Bethlehem.  He came to be "Emmanuel, God with us."  Years before, Isaiah had foretold of His coming to earth.  "Therefore the Lord Himself shall give you a sign; Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Emmanuel" (Isaiah 7:14)

At Jesus' birth the angel said to Joseph, "Thou shall call His name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is God with us."  In the person of Jesus Christ, God came to earth that he might be "GOD WITH US."  But He came to be more than "God with us."  He came to be the Saviour that He might be "GOD IN US."  "I will dwell IN them, and walk IN them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people" (2 Corinthians 6:16).  Through Christ we can know what God is like and what He can do for us.

With His presence in us, we are assured that He will enter into each of our needs with us.

What is your need today?  Is it comfort?  He, the God of all Comfort, is WITH YOU, bringing His comfort to your hearts.  Are you lonely?  He has promised "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee" (Hebrews 13:5).  Are you fearful?  He is with you, quieting your heart as He says, "Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid" (John 14:27).  Are you weak, wondering how you will get through the day?  He is with you to strengthen you.  "It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect" (Psalm 18:32).

The Christmas season will soon be over.  But the Christ of Christmas is always available every day through the year to meet our needs.  Emmanuel - GOD WITH US - in the person of Jesus Christ - DWELLS IN US - that He might LIVE HIS LIFE THROUGH US.



And the following reading by Spurgeon:  Something to keep in mind, not only at this time of year, that can often be busy and stressful for some, but at all times... 

A Quiet Heart

"In quietness and confidence shall be your strength." - Isaiah 30:15

It is weakness to be fretting and worrying, questioning and mistrusting.  Do we not unfit ourselves for action, and unhinge our minds for wise decision?  We are sinking by our struggles when we might float by faith.

Oh, for grace to be quiet!  Why run from house to house repeating the weary story that makes us more and more heartsick as we tell it?  Why stay at home to cry out in agony because of wretched forebodings that may never be fulfilled?  Be still and know that Jehovah is God!

Oh, for the grace to be confident in God!  Every word of His will stand though the mountains should depart.  He deserves to be confided in; and if we would display confidence and consequent quietness, we might be as happy as the spirits before the throne.  Return unto your rest, and lean your head upon the Lord Jesus.
- Charles H Spurgeon
 

Sunday, December 5, 2021

Weekend Words

 From Amish Peace...

Prince of Peace

A child is born to us... And he will be called: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. - Isaiah 9:6

These days there is more than enough Christmas cheer to go around.  There are holiday parties, cookie exchanges, and children's programs.  There are gifts to buy, and maybe cards to mail and homes to decorate as bright and  beautiful as the magazine covers on the rack at the grocery store.  Yet there is little peace.  And on some busy, frantic holiday days I'm certain that I have forgotten that the whole thing is supposed to be about the Prince of Peace.

That title holds a lot of meaning.

Prince: "Jesus came and told his disciples, 'I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth' " (Matthew 28:18).  We've given Jesus authority over our souls and our homes, but have we given Him authority over our Christmas celebrations?

Peace: "You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!" (Isaiah 26:3).  When our minds are filled with all the tasks of Christmas, peace comes when we focus on the Prince of Christmas.

In the Amish home, preparations for Christmas start a few days (not a few months) before the holiday.  If gifts are given, they are simple gifts for the children.  There is often an Amish school Christmas program that focuses on Christ.  In fact, in a book for Amish school teachers a new verse to the familiar carol "O Little Town of Bethlehem" was added:

O little Inn of Bethlehem how like we are to you;

Our lives are crowded to the brim with this and that to do.

We're not unfriendly to the King, we mean well without doubt;

We have no hostile feelings, we merely crowd Him out.

It seems even the youngest children know what Prince needs to reign in their Christmas!  Can we make an effort to remember the same?

From A Year's Journey with God...

Bright Morning Star

I, Jesus... I am the bright morning star. - Revelation 22:16 NLT

"Oooh! It's so dark!"  I gasped.  I was eight years old and it was 5 o'clock in the morning.  My father was scraping frost from his car.

"See if you can find the Morning Star,' he suggested.  I had never been up early enough to see it before and was amazed by its brightness.  As we set off on a long drive to deliver presents to distant friends my father explained, 'Before clocks were invented sailors, watchmen and farmers always knew it was nearly dawn when the Morning Star appeared, so they called it "Star of Hope".'

The message about joy, peace and goodwill that the angels gave to the shepherds seems rather strange!  Ever since then there has been very little joy or peace - you only have to watch the news to know how terrible life on Earth can be - at least for some people.

Christmas seems to underline how unfair things are!  Some children have masses of presents, others have none; we 'pig out' on Christmas Day while others die of starvation; some people are surrounded by loving families while others sit alone, forgotten or unwanted.  God is often accused of being unfair but Jesus never promised us anything but trouble in this life (John 16:33), although he did promise to make everything fair in the next!  Because of the birth (and death) of Jesus we can confidently look forward to an eternity of nothing but joy and peace.  However, the angels actually promised peace and goodwill on Earth (Luke 2:14 KJV).  Although our lives down here may be outwardly difficult, we can still experience a foretaste of heaven in our hearts.

Star of wonder, star of night, Star with royal beauty bright... Guide us to Thy perfect light. - John Henry Hopkins (1857)


Sunday, November 28, 2021

Weekend Words


From Beside the Still Waters devotional...



Have Enough to Give? - Read: 1 Kings 17:8-16, John 6:1-13

"He that hath pity upon the poor lendeth unto the Lord; and that which he hath given will he pay him again." - Proverbs 19:17

In today's first Bible reading, the mother thought she and her son would soon starve.  Yet they were willing to give of the little they had to the prophet, and God blessed them so that they had food through the duration of the famine.

In the second reading, the lad may have thought, "Mother sent this for me; I'll go hungry if I give it."  But he gave it anyway.  As a result, he and thousands of others were well fed.  What did they do with the twelve baskets of fragments they picked up?  I like to think that one basket could have been given back to the lad.  Maybe he took it home and when Mother saw it, she asked, "What do you have here?"  Then perhaps he replied, "Jesus needed some food, so I gave Him mine.  He used it to feed a huge crowd, and then there were many baskets filled with leftovers.  This is only one of them!"

In another story I read recently, two young boys were saving money to buy a horse.  After hearing a report about very poor people in another country, they decided those people needed the money more than they needed a horse.  Later some friends gave them money - just enough to buy a horse.  The boys were blessed twice: first when they gave, and again when God gave it back to them through their friends.  God does not always bless us financially when we give, but He does always bless us.

There are many needs around us.  Maybe you don't know anyone nearby in dire need, but think of the millions in the world whose needs are made known to us through various charities and missions.  Are they not our neighbour?  Are we willing to share of our abundance?

- Paul Yoder - Gap Mills, WV

"Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give...for God loveth a cheerful giver." 
- 2 Corinthians 9:7

From Watch for the Light (Readings for Advent and Christmas)...




The God We Hardly Knew

No one can celebrate
a genuine Christmas
without being truly poor.
The self-sufficient, the proud,
those who, because they have
everything, look down on others,
those who have no need
even of God - for them there
will be no Christmas.
Only the poor, the hungry,
those who need someone
to come on their behalf,
will have that someone.
That someone is God.
Emmanuel. God-with-us.
Without poverty of spirit
there can be no abundance of God.

- Oscar Romero


" Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." - Matthew 5:3

I recently heard this lovely song on Sandra Ann's blog.  She has different graphics on hers, so if you enjoy it...take a look at her version too :)


Thursday, November 25, 2021

On the home front...

 Or perhaps I should say...  On the garden front...  

Summer is a comin' in, and the garden jungle is keeping me busy...

Here are some recent photos (of the least 'jungle like' areas)...

front garden


back garden


my first rose


jasmine blooming


buds and blossoms on my lemon tree


blackberry blossom


a good crop of blueberries coming on 


looks like my honeysuckle is finally going to blossom this year


baby apples


and my rhododendron is flowering

And on the family front... I've also had family visiting, from South Australia for 2 weeks...

daughter in law Hayley, granddaughter Hazel, son Ben


and when your son is here for a visit...you put him to work :)


they also caught up with daughter Marnie and grandson Denver

It was lovely to see them after two years...

but also lovely to have my quiet routine back again :))

I've not had much time for crafts or reading, but I did start the Advent readings in this book yesterday...


From the book...

Lo, in the silent night A child is born

And all is brought again That ere was lost or lorn.


Could but thy soul, O man, Become a silent night!

God would be born in thee And set all things aright.

(15th Century)

And this...

"Light your candles quietly, such candles as you possess, wherever you are."

- Alfred Delp


It's beginning to look a bit like Christmas...

xx

Sunday, November 21, 2021

Weekend Words

 From Be Still and Know...

By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name." (Hebrews 13:15)

Hebrews 13 is filled with practical exhortations relevant to Christian living today.  In verse 15 we are reminded to be full of praise.  

If a record were kept, we might be surprised how little we praise the Lord.  We sing, "Count your many blessings," but rush through the day without taking time to express our thanks to God for these blessings.  We take the every day things so for granted.

Praise should be our lifelong occupation - not occasionally, but continually.  "Through him therefore let us constantly and at all times offer up to God a sacrifice of praise..."(Amplified)

Praise to God "... is the fruit of lips that thankfully acknowledge and confess and glorify his name" (Amplified)  Is this what God hears from our lips?  Praise to his name?  Or does he sometimes hear murmuring?  Complaining?  Gossip?  Criticism?  Praise to God is not just the verbal expression of our lips, but the reality of praise lived out from our lives. 

We are to offer a "sacrifice of praise."  A sacrifice is something offered to someone, usually at a cost.  "A sacrifice of praise" - that is, praise that cost something.

During the last several years before my husband's death it cost me something to praise God.  It was a sacrifice.  My heart would be heavy, uncertain of the future.  As I watched him suffer, I suffered along with him.  It was not always easy to praise God.  Yet as I lifted my eyes from my heartache to God, praise would not only fill my heart but my lips - a sacrifice of praise.

It is easy to say to God, "I will always trust you, no matter what happens."  It is easy to praise him when everything is going smoothly.  But what about the time when we are suffering, when our hearts are breaking, when there seems to be no solution to our needs.  To praise him at such times is a "sacrifice of praise" that ascends as perfume to the throne of God.


"Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning, For in you do I trust; Cause me to know the way in which I should walk, For I lift up my soul to you.  Teach me to do Your will, For You are my God; Your Spirit is good.  Lead me in the land of uprightness." - Psalm 143:8,10 



Fixed Focus

Oh, that my eyes might closed be to what concerns me not to see;

That deafness might possess my ear to what concerns me not to hear;

That truth my tongue might always tie from ever speaking foolishly;

That no vain thought might ever rest or be conceived within my breast;

That by each deed and word and thought, glory may to God be brought.


But what are wishes! Lord, mine eye on Thee is fixed; to Thee I cry!

Wash, Lord, and purify my heart, and make it clean in every part.

And when 'tis clean, Lord, keep it too, for that is more than I can do.

- Thomas Elwood

Sunday, November 14, 2021

Weekend Words

 From Be Still and Know...


"Don't hide your light!  Let it shine for all; let your good deeds glow for all to see, so they will praise your heavenly Father." (Matthew 5:16 LB)

We are living in a dark world today, one darkened by pain, sorrow, loneliness, and heartache.  Many people are searching for a way out of their darkness, and looking for just a little ray of light.

An artist once drew a picture of a winter scene.  The trees were heavily laden with snow.  To one side of the picture was a dark, bleak-looking house.  The picture gave a feeling of depression.

Suddenly the artist, with a quick stroke of yellow crayon, put a light in the window of the house.  The effect was magical.  Immediately the scene was transformed into one of cheer.

This is what happens when Christ is invited into a life.  He turns on His light and a life is transformed.

When His light is turned on within it shines out to others.  We are to be "rays" of light, shining His light on the path of those about us.  "YOU are the world's light... Don't hide your light" (Matthew 5:14-16 LB).

Paul wrote, "You are to live clean, innocent lives as children of God in a dark world full of people who are crooked and stubborn.  Shine out among them like beacon lights, holding out to them the Word of Life" (Philippians 2:15-16 LB)

Rudyard Kipling and his wife purchased a farmhouse on a mountain slope in Vermont.  One day they hiked down the mountain back of their house and up the next mountain.  They came to a tiny house where a woman lived by herself.  "Be you the windows across the valley?" she asked.  When they said, "Yes," she told them how much comfort the lights of their home where to her.

Suddenly she said, almost fearfully, "Be you going to stay and keep your lights burning, or be you not?"

After that day the Kiplings always kept the light on the back of their house burning for their neighbour across the valley.

Can people say of us, "Be you the window shining?  Be you going to keep your light shining; or be you not?"


********************************

From A Prairie Devotional (inspired by The Little House on the Prairie TV series)...

A Mind-Set

"I'm a farmer and I love it, and I'm a father and I love it.  And best of all, I'm married to Caroline Ingalls and I love her."  - Charles Ingalls

Contentment is being thankful for our lives and what we have. It's easier said than done; contentment doesn't come naturally.  When Charles and Caroline attend a class reunion, they see their old friends are successful but discontented.  Reflecting on his simple life, Charles is struck by how satisfied he is.  Contentment does not depend on circumstances, but on our mind-set.

Charles Ingalls reminds me of my stepdad.  He was a simple man who worked hard and loved his four girls as well as his wife.  A mail-man for more than thirty years, my dad sorted letters like seeds, drove his mail truck as if it were a plow, and delivered packages as big as sacks of grain.  While rain didn't wipe out his annual salary, it made quite the soggy mess.  Being content with a blue-collar job took more than just a good attitude.  I think my step-dad's faith played a role.  I saw him every dark morning at the kitchen table reading his Bible.  He had a deep love for God.

The secret of contentment is to be grounded in Christ.  When our hearts and minds are focused on Him, we can't help but be grateful for the lives we've been given.  Charles didn't look at his life and see what was lacking.  He saw everything as a beautiful gift from God.  Gratitude recognizes how much we have compared to what we deserve.  We deserve nothing but have been given everything we need to pursue a life of contentment.

Godliness with contentment is great gain.  For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out. - 1 Timothy 6:6-7

I seem to have a bit of a 'cabin theme' going this week :))

Sunday, November 7, 2021

Weekend Words

From Beside The Still Waters...


Come Unto Me - Read Hebrews 3:7 - 4:16

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. - Matthew 11:28

In this life we are beset by sin and burdened with cares and troubles.  However, we often think we are strong enough to handle these burdens alone.  We would rather not bother God with petty troubles; and besides, we are not sure that God takes enough interest in us to care about such little things.  So we continue trying to carry our own burdens, even as they become heavier.  Finally we realize that we cannot go on.

The good news is that we don't need to go on like this!  In today's key verse Jesus said, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."  Isn't that a beautiful promise?  How wonderful that God has provided a haven of peace and rest for us who live in a troubled world!  Even more wonderful is the fact that each one of us has ready access to this haven.  No one is turned away because of not being worth enough.  Neither does anyone have a problem too big for God to handle or too small for him to notice.  "The very hairs of your head are all numbered" (Matthew 10:30)

Maybe we are plagued with guilt and sin, or troubled about the physical or spiritual condition of a loved one, or hurting because of unjust deeds that have been done.  In any case, we can give everything to the Lord as 1 Peter 5:7 tells us: "Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you."  He will never grow tired of our coming to Him, but will always be there when we need Him.  Do you feel as if you're shackled by a heavy burden?  Bring your cares to Jesus, and He will give you rest!

Joseph Wengerd - Hersey, MI

Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help us in time of need. - Hebrews 4:16

*******************************

This arrived in my email box this morning.  You may remember some of Stephanie's previous updates I've posted here.  Thought you might like to hear the good news...

It’s like trying to speak those first words in the morning. Fresh out of bed, still stretching out joints, you open your mouth, and you sound like you’re auditioning for the role of Frog.It has been a long, long night, and in the dark, I have forgotten how to talk.So here comes some throat-clearing. To write, one needs a beginning. I have no idea where to start.I want to tell the story of the last year, mostly because I need to process what happened to us. But right now, I lack the courage. It still hurts too much, and I cry every time I try.There has been joy in this year, here and there, all the brighter for the darkness. Let me tell where we are right now, because right now is beautiful and full of light as golden as an October afternoon. On the last Tuesday of September, Tarica and I went to Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh for an appointment. We sat in an exam room, as excited as first graders in August. When Dr. Welch and his team walked in, we greeted them with huge grins.Dr. Welch did not disappoint us. “Tarica! What is going on? Last time I saw you, you were in a wheelchair and a helmet.” He looked at me for confirmation.I nodded. “In May, yes. She had just had another regression.”He studied Tarica, sitting upright in an armless chair. “You could barely hold your head up back then. Now look at you! What happened?”This was the moment we had gleefully (and tearfully) discussed the night before: the big reveal. At the May appointment, Tarica could barely walk or talk. Her eyes were lifeless. I was dressing her and bathing her and sleeping with her. The seizures were destroying her, and no one could stop them.Six months before that appointment, on November 23, 2020, an RNS device was implanted into her brain. The device could be programmed and trained to detect abnormal brain activity and respond to it. Think of it as a pacemaker, but for the brain. Best case scenario, the device would block abnormal activity from turning into seizures. But the device had to be adjusted slowly. It would take time to find the right setting for her brain—time she did not have. Every day pulled her deeper into the abyss.In May, Dr. Welch and his team had analyzed the data collected by the device and tailored a new setting specific for her brain. I was afraid to hope, so I didn’t say much in the weeks that followed. Eventually, either Linford or I dared to say aloud to the other, casually, as if it didn’t much matter, “The seizures aren’t as bad right now, are they?”We exchanged a long look and then shrugged. No more words were needed. She might be improving, but we had lost the ability to rejoice, because years of experience had taught us improvements didn’t last. Every lull in the storm would end, and epilepsy’s grip on her would only tighten.But the facts revealed the truth even if our hearts refused to acknowledge it. For the first time in her epilepsy history, the seizures had become milder. She stopped falling during the seizures. Before long, the wheelchair was folded up in a corner. She no longer wore her helmet. Midsummer, she told me she was ready to sleep by herself, so after two years of sleeping downstairs I moved back up to my own bed. Her handwriting improved dramatically; her balance got better. Although she still seized at night, we were now counting daytime seizures by the week instead of the day.And then weeks went by with only nighttime seizures. We forgot the date of her last daytime seizure. Although we still leaped violently whenever something crashed to the floor, it no longer was Tarica.We had watched Tarica improve over the months, but when I saw her through Dr. Welch’s eyes—the startling difference between May and September—it finally became real to me.I had to know one thing yet. I scooted forward in my chair and met Dr. Welch’s eyes. “The difference is amazing, but I find it hard to believe. I could hardly wait for today because the RNS data will give me an answer to a question I’ve been asking. Is she seizing less because her abnormal brain activity is slowing down, or is she seizing less because the device is blocking the activity from turning into seizures?”This question had kept me awake at night. If her abnormal activity had simply slowed down, then the seizures would quickly resume if that activity picked back up. However, if her brain was as crazy as ever in there but the device was blocking the seizures, then we could hope this was the beginning of her second chance at life.Dr. Welch pulled up the data. The graphs were simple enough to understand at a glance what was happening in her brain.It was as crazy as ever in there.I sat back, limp with shuddery emotions. The device was doing its job. That little machine in her head was all that stood between her and oblivion.For a moment, it was as if a door creaked open somewhere on the edge of heaven, and through that door drifted an ethereal music, soaring and triumphant. It sang in my veins, ran down my spine—and then the door slammed shut. I fought back tears. Were they tears of joy or of sorrow? We had finally drawn a line that epilepsy could not cross. So much had been lost, but the line was holding.Dr. Welch tweaked the RNS settings again, a slight refinement that we hope will stop the nighttime seizures. If the seizure count remains steady or improves in the next month, we will start weaning her from one of her drugs, the one with the worst side effects. When Dr. Welch said those words aloud, I felt a weightlessness in the pit of my stomach, as if I had leaped from a cliff and was free-falling toward the sea. We have never weaned without adding a replacement. Were we ready for this?On the way home, after Tarica finished listening to Ralph S. Mouse, we talked. It is difficult to hear her in a vehicle. She can no longer modulate her voice, so she speaks in a quiet monotone. Certain sounds, especially d and t, are often missing. Her words come with far greater effort, like a non-English speaker learning how to shape words. She frequently has to say things three, four, even five, times before I understand her. But on the road, we had time to work it out.Back home, supper would be already over. Sunlight had turned into twilight. As we approached Altoona, I pointed to a gap in the mountains where the city lights shone below us.“That’s pretty,” she said.“You know what’s amazing, Tarica?” I didn’t wait for a reply. “If you had been born any time sooner, the RNS technology wouldn’t have been available when you needed it. We live close enough to Pittsburgh to drive there. Dr. Abel and Dr. Welch decided to work at Children’s Hospital. They are the ones who started the RNS program at Children’s. You were the seventh patient to get a device, so this is still new. And here you are, talking, walking, going to school, and living again.” By now, tears were running down my face. “Do you know how easily it could have been different?”She did.I fumbled for a tissue and blew my nose. “I thank God every single day all day long that you are better. I can’t get done thanking Him. He’s given us a miracle.”“I thank Him too,” she said and found a tissue of her own.Some of what she has lost may never be regained. But she will build a new life with what remains. It has been nearly a year since I wrote to you. Last fall, I intentionally gave up everything that didn’t pertain to our immediate survival. I whittled my life down to taking care of Tarica, washing our clothes, and feeding my family. Friends and family helped a lot with the last two. Nobody else could be Tarica’s mother, but others could and did fold laundry and make food.Now that she has improved and is able to attend school by herself, I am rebuilding what has been destroyed. I had lived for so long in a state of hyper-alertness and emergency that I lost the ability to concentrate deeply. My mind often feels like a skipping stone skittering over the surface of a lake. So I’ve been keeping my hands busy while waiting for my brain to recuperate. There is plenty of work to be done, corners and closets and clutter that I’ve ignored while tending to what mattered most.In April, I stopped believing she would ever return to us in any meaningful way, so far had she fallen into the abyss. But she is back—a little broken and fragile, yet still smiling. This has not yet ceased to amaze me, and I pray it never will. I want to be perpetually astonished at an ordinary life, because astonishment leads to gratitude and gratitude helps me remember we don’t deserve anything—not even the second chance we’ve been given.How easily it could have been different.And how beautiful it is to live again. We live in a world full of grief and fear and tragedy. I am protected somewhat from it by a cocoon of joy, but the bad news still filters in. As I consider sending these words out to you, I flinch at the thought of those who will read this while sitting among ashes and tears. It is not fair that I should have joy while you do not.I wish I could give you the miracle you are pleading for. Instead, I have only words for you, one small, heartbreaking truth I learned in the last year. Sometimes while you are pleading for one miracle, you are given another, straight from the Almighty: the ability to endure the unendurable.Three years ago, if I had been granted a glimpse into the future and had seen the girl Tarica is today, it would have shattered me. We’ve fought all these years to keep her whole, to preserve the girl she was. In most measurable ways, we lost that battle. But the battle taught me there is something worse than being a little (or a lot) broken.  Fighting alone.Next time, I want to tell you about all the warriors who joined our fight.


Here are a few pictures from the last year.

In the ICU, soon after brain surgery – November 23, 2020
Our first outing with the wheelchair. Such a relief not to worry she’d crash to the floor and take a whole display with her. 
We chose to see the wheelchair as a blessing. It gave her some independence; she could now attend school without me.
In mid-July, she had enough energy to go on a sisters’ picnic in the woods. A small thing, but for us, an astonishing triumph.
The boys are four and eight now. What is it with fishing? I don’t get it.
When the rest of the children went back to school, Gairett and I took a walk nearly every morning. I couldn’t get done marveling over the glorious freedom of choosing how to spend my time. It is a wealth I had not known I possessed until I lost it.
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Copyright © 2021 Stephanie J. Leinbach, All rights reserved.You are receiving this because you subscribed to Serendipity.Our mailing address is:
Stephanie J. Leinbach
521 Cooney Lane
AltoonaPa 16601
Copyright © 2021 Stephanie J. Leinbach, All rights reserved.You are receiving this because you subscribed to Serendipity.Our mailing address is:
Stephanie J. Leinbach
521 Cooney Lane
AltoonaPa 16601
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